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Jireh.
that's jai-ra for you.
it's Hebrew,but i'm not.
15 years old.
Glendale School;Quezon City Science HS;Dr.Henry A. Wise HS
Love.Faith.Unity.Peace.Courage.Fidelity
Darwin.Curie.Curie.i don't know what's next.
10th Grade.
Filipino.
singing.reading.drawing.internet.daydreaming.eating.
Jpop.Jdrama.Kpop.books.manga.anime.
House MD.
JAPAN.
Yamada Ryosuke = ♥

God.memories.books.love.

I have officially relocated to this account! let's go the top,shall we?

I'M SORRY FOR IGNORING YOU, BLOG.
I still love you okay?
But I'm busy...with other stuff.
Like Tumblr and Facebook.
Sorry.
;____________;

I just have a lot of things to organize in my head.
I can't even.
So I'll leave you with this dialog:
S: you should try initiating a conversation sometime
me: but i'm scared cuz i don't know what to say
S:and you think i do?
me: you always know what to say
S: i just walk up to you knowing i wanna talk to you and say something lol. but now its your turn to try that

:''> let's go the top,shall we?

Okay.So I finally decided to check my blog after a gazillion years,and this is the first thing I saw.

• exfriend:'c SHE JUST ASKED ME IF I MISS JIREH LEE. I LAUGHED. I LAUGHED BECAUSE I WANTED TO SAY YES, BECAUSE I REALLY DO. BUT I JUST LAUGHED.
  

  2010-06-22 11:00 AM

• exfriend:'c I RARELY SMILE, BUT I ACTUALLY LAUGHED WHEN THE QUESTION WAS THROWN ON MY FACE. IT HAS HURT MY PRIDE, YOU KNOW THAT?
  

  2010-06-22 11:03 AM

• exfriend:'c BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T MISS ME. I PROLLY HAVEN'T CROSSED YOUR MIND IN THE PAST TWO YEARS. REALLY. I THOUGHT YOU CONSIDER ME YOUR FRIEND.
  

  2010-06-22 11:05 AM

• exfriend:'c I LOVED YOU, BEST FRIEND. I USED TO. AND I STILL DO. BUT I MIGHT AS WELL FORGET ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP BCOZ IT SEEMS THAT YOU ALREADY DID. KUDOS. IH8U.
  

  2010-06-22 11:07 AM

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGH.D:

I don't know what I did,honest. And I don't like telling other people what I feel because I would look like an idiot,but I think I should right now.

God knows I treasure every single friend I have,best or not.I don't like being alone,you know.It kills me.That's why when someone talks to me,I cherish the moment.And I never forget it.Every single thing that happened to me that involved my friends,I remember.Everything.Why do you think I cry on my pillow every single flipping night for two years? BECAUSE I CAN'T LET GO OF THE FREAKING PAST. I died a little when 4 years ago a friend told me she didn't want to be friends with me anymore because I don't "give her enough attention".That's not true.I know what it feels like to be not given attention,so I don't want that to happen to anyone.And now,someone hates me.Again.

Hey,'exfriend'.I think I know who you are.If I'm right,then can I just say this? YOU'RE AN IDIOT.How can you think that I haven't thought of you for the past 2 years?I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU.You're one of the bestest friends I ever had,an how the heck can you think that I could just throw that away?If you're really my friend,then you know me.You know that I don't like pushing myself in peoples' faces.I know you have a happy life now,and I don't wanna be the girl who just butts in and thinks it's cool.I have a freaking inferiority complex,you know.You've always been the popular one.I'm never one of those.Call me stupid,but I've always thought that you're too cool for me.I don't say cool stuff, I don't dress fashionably,and I'm certainly not pretty.But you're the girl that every guy wanted.We're different.But I still loved you,because you were my friend.I said I'd keep in touch.But I was scared.BECAUSE I KNOW IT WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.Nothing ever does.Don't you think it's unfair that you say that I don't care about you?I loved you.I always did.I still do.You said you hate me.I love you.I miss you a lot.I hope you're happy now.

If I got the wrong person,I'm sorry.Maybe I really don't deserve your friendship after all.But please tell me your name.So I'll never make the same mistake again.

Oh and whoever you are,I wish you all the best.I hope you never find someone like me.So you'll never get hurt again.Thank you for everything you have done for me.I'm sorry.

let's go the top,shall we?

let's go the top,shall we?

It's the 143rd day of the year.
I love you.:] let's go the top,shall we?

I saw my crush today.With a girl.
No,they're not a couple ,because I noticed a lack of HHWWPSSP happenings/rubbing gums action.
But his body language and huge smile gave it away.
He's obviously interested in her.
Huh.

I'm not heart-broken or anything,since it's just a crush, but I sure do feel awful.
You know, I know how he smells like even if I've never been close to him before.
I don't know where the familiarity came from,but it surprised me.
I was walking,then a familiar smell wafted on my nose,and I looked,and there he was.
That subtle scent that I thought came from a friend,was from him.
And I didn't even realize that even though I don't know a lot,like his name,or how old he is,or basic stuff like that, I really did know a lot about him.

Then I realized that I'm becoming more and more like Ayu (Honey and Clover).
You see,Ayu has a lot of suitors,but she only wants Mayama,who's in love with someone else.
I only had a couple of people that told me they liked me,but somehow,I always like someone who doesn't like me back.
Unrequited love is common, but somehow, I feel super confined to it.
Like running in a hamster wheel. Endless and pointless.
You love and love and give it your all, but in the end, you're still miserable.
Love is weird.
But you know what,I'm still happy that God gave me a really deep understanding of love even if I had little exposure to it.
It helps prepare me for the worst.

On a side note: I really hope he's happy.:] let's go the top,shall we?

"Testu: Ojou is in love with you, but I will not give her up.
Shinohara: Alright. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Kashiwagi: What? Are you two going for her? Does that mean that the three of us are rivals?
Sawada (out of nowhere): Sorry but, make that four of us."

Oh Sawada. You say the coolest lines. XD And although I don't really ship Yankumi x Sawada (because of the age gap), I can't help but spazz because MatsuJun is too perfect for the role.
KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~

I didn't really appreciate the first one that much before because I was like what, 8 years old, when it first came out. Of course I forgot all about it! But it was really nice ne~ I don't know what's wrong with me, but I never get tired of the students-get-in-trouble-then-Yankumi-saves-the-day formula that Gokusen always had. I'm actually looking forward to those moments.O_o

But since I'm rewatching all seasons, I think I'm gonna make a list of my Top5 most favorite 3-D students of all time, which is to be updated every season I finish.

So for now:
1.Sawada Shin (MatsuJun) - Eyecandy,bad-ass attitude,and an air of coolness about him.What more could you ask for?!
2.Ogata Yamato (Takaki Yuya) - Dude. This is like Shin, but younger. And a bit more warfreak?
3.Takeda Keita (Koike Teppei) - He's actually my first Gokusen crush. LOOOOL.
4.Kumai Teruo (Waki Tomohiro) - Come on.Who doesn't love Kuma?Too adorableeeeee.
5.Kamiya Shunsuke (Miura Shohei) - Too cute to resist. :3

I guess I'll just be adding stuff to this post ne?
Jabaibai~ let's go the top,shall we?